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The F.B.I.’s Giuliani Raids Heat Late Evening’s Coronary heart

“Come on, that’s manner too early! Rudy’s not himself till he’s had his first cup of sizzling breakfast wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“They took the previous mayor’s digital units; they had been seized. I believe it’s secure to imagine none of these digital units had been toothbrushes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“I do know Rudy Giuliani is a high-powered lawyer, mayor of New York Metropolis, adviser to the president of the US, however I nonetheless image his workplace above a restore store proper subsequent to a palm reader’s.” — JAMES CORDEN

“However Rudy’s lawyer — very upset. He known as the raid ‘authorized thuggery.’ He mentioned, ‘Why would you do that to anybody, not to mention somebody who was the affiliate legal professional normal, U.S. legal professional, mayor of New York Metropolis and the non-public lawyer to the forty fifth president of the US?’ Who would dare to point out up unannounced and take his beloved Jitterbug cellphone? It’s simply not American.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Investigators are reportedly conducting a prison investigation into Giuliani’s dealings in Ukraine to attempt to dig up grime on the Bidens on behalf of Donald Trump. And in case you suppose he was sweating Grecian System earlier than, it is best to see him now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“When the brokers walked in, Rudy obtained so nervous, he began sweating hair dye and tucking all of the proof down his pants.” — JIMMY FALLON

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